Disasters
by Carolusrising
Summary: Out takes from Golden sun, Events that never was supposed to happen. Now contains 0 % plot and 0% Mudshipping. Yes no mudshipping
1. Mars lighthouse failure

This is a 100% crack that features some small spoilers and has far from a decent plot. Character acts heavly out of character and must shipping is screwed.

This is just parady on the final acting and no i dont owe golden sun and wont make any money for it.

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The Mars lighthouse disaster

The creepy evil rock the wise ass diseapered when he tapped his sandels together three times. Laghuing all evil

A Great three headed dragon appered in front of the hole, Its power full roars sounded something like.

"ohh shit its that red haired guy that used to eat all our cookies. lets kill him"

"You aint killing garet." Yelled Sheba to the dragon," hes to good looking." Felix gave her an angry lock and Ivan began to cry

The second head said something like: "Look its Isaac, thats my son i cant kill him"

"Of course you cant." Yelled isaac at the dragon. He knowed that i thought his to awesome to kill.

"Hey we already killed a two headed dragon. How much matter does a head less make." said Garet

I dont care how many heads it has.... Wait Garet two is one head less then three exclaimed Mia. Not suprised that Garet couldnt count.

The third head roared. "My name is Jennas mother im the protector of cookies and the bringer of milk. If you want my cookies we must fight"

"Then we shall" sceamed Jenna. Angery that a dragon belived it was her mother.

Some seconds later Kraden woke up sleeping and said something about werewolves asses

Doom Dragon appear.

Felix makes start the fight with a Sol blade unleash. He jumps in the air hit the stone. As he approch the dragon from the air, it suddenly moves leaving the big hole open for Felix to land in. Felix desperatly got a grip on the edge, At the same time Isaac got hit by cruel ruin in the first phese and landed next to the hole. He then saw Felix fighting for his life at the edge.

...... said Felix ( I cant hold on longer)

what? asked Isaac

???? said Felix (you forgot you stole my togue on venus lighthouse)

Hey heres the Sol blade. Said Isaac happily as he picked it up and run back to the battle.

Why??? Screamed Felix as he felled into the hole.

The battle wasnt going good. Mia and Jenna was spaming cool aura and wish, to keep Sheba and Ivan up. Piers was knocked out every turn by Doom Dragon.

Garet was reabetably hitting Doom Dragon with his short sword. Ivan and Sheba was busy looking for Shebas home from the top of the lighthouse. (Unawere of the damge and healing they took.)

Isaac joined the intensive healing on Ivan and Sheba. It looked quite bad as they used their fifth psyenergy star to keep Mia/Jenna and Isaacs PP up.

Then suddenly the Beacon began to rise. Kraden who had tryed to lift Isaacs gaia blade the entire fight, raised up and said. "Lets run down before Garet kills the first head and makes it more powerfull somehow."

"Yay first head down" yelled Garet happily at the same time. Issac facedpalm as Doom dragon began to cast Cruel ruin.

Everyone started to ran for the elevator expect Garet who now was hitting the dragon with shaman rod.

Piers was fast to grab and throw Kraden over to the elevator. Then Mia got to the elevator and Kraden quickly pulled the lever. Leaving everyone stuck on the top of the lighthouse.

Jenna paniced and jumped the lighthouse to avoid the attack. The spell hit Ivan, Sheba, Garet, Piers and Isaac. It was only blood and blonde hair left of Sheba and Ivan. Garet was barely injured by the hit but the shaman rod was shatterd by the impact. Isaac used Granite to protect himself (but no one else). Piers had dodged the attack by simpely jumping over it.

"Jenna!!!" screamed Isaac and jumped the lighthouse. Somehow the Doom dragon was gone and Garet walked around planlessly on the top of the lighthouse. Then suddnly he felt something touching his leg.

"Ahhh get louse of my leg". He screamed as he felt a cold hand touch his leg.

"Garet get a grip on yourself!" Screamed Isaac while falling of the lighthouse. to awesome to panic or die

"Im serious get away from my leg" He said again.

Then a creepy voice said. "But i only want to play with your little thing." Garet turned around and was hit by a huge iceblock.

At the the same time a bit away from the lighthouse Kraden and Mia watched the beacon rise.

"whoo its wonderfull" said Mia

"Not as beutifull as you my darling" replied Kraden.

"Ohoo Kraden." Said Mia and they began to make out.

At the same time at the exact same place

"Im gonna throw up". Said Jenna and so she did. She however didnt notice that she was dropping her vomit right on Isaac. Destroying all of his expensive shirts.

After some time of throwing up Jenna realised the loving couple was looking at her. Isaac stood up and said to her. "Your vomit tastes good Jenna."

"Ohhh Isaac said Mia I found a true gentle man to be with, not like you and Garet." Isaac saw the sitoution and throwed up at Jenna

Then Jenna said the most rommantic thing Isaac could have heard. "Your vomit thats like shit!" And they began to make out.

At the same time at Jupiter lighthouse.

Hama stood waiting for something to happen. About 20 hours later she was stil waiting.

"ohh. They must have lighten the last lighthouse." she said. "Crap that means Ivan wants to come here and become a family." She pulled out a gun and shot herself.

20 hours before the suicide at Venus lighthouse

A fat mayor stood on an crossed marked spot "That stupid rock told me in a dream, that if i lay here i would unlock the sacred gold coin in the mayor of Madras wifes room."

He was hit by two small skinny people falling from above right in his stomach. It was a Proxian man and a Proxian dragdresser.

"So we two survied in the end after all." said the man. looking a little shocked

"Yeah falling down that hole for months and have the luck to land on a pillow." said the dragdresser. mirroring his ruined face on the stone.

"Im no Pillow" said the mayor.

"hmmm im starving." Said the man. "hank god its not a pillow, but a pig. said The mysterious man and put the Alfharan mayor on fire."

Then both of them enyoyed a very tasty dinner.

Later at Prox.

"Now where did the evil man touch you? Pulle asked Garet and hold up a litlle child doll. Garet sat in a chair and sobbed highly, the Prox elder sat next to him looking concernd

"Here and here ohh even there he pointed out on the doll." Then he started to cry and asked "im going to Hell aint i?"

The Prox elder got a flash back of Menardi when he was just a little boy, and said "well we keep a look out for that man. how does he look?"

"Well first he had blue hair and alot of muscles". Garet said. Through none was listening. Pulle had called the Proxian pedofil busters and the elder was looking at the floor, still in a flash back.

Garet keept talking but no one was listning.

Then suddenly Karst and Agatio burst into the both dressed in uniforms that said Proxian pedofil busters.

"Thanks for comming so soon Heroes" said Pulle. "This pedofil name is Piers and hes staying at the inn, go and execute him at the spot."

"no one will ever dare to touch you again he said to Garet." said Pulle Garet as he lead Garet into a house guarded by Dullaham and Sentinel. Garet was throwed into a room with bars. By the door Star magican stood and waited for any possible pedofil.

Five minutes later at the inn

Piers lay sleeping in his bed with a satisfied smile. Unawre of the most awfull thing that ever walked weyward was sleeping 10 meters away. When he opened hes eyes he saw a huge axe being hold over his bed. Faster then a turtle he throwed himselfs under the bed. However Agatio didnt mind destrorying one of the innkeepers bed and slammed the axe right in it. The bed was cleaved by the blow and Piers left arm was cut off. Piers jumped up and summoned judgement on the inn. The inn was totally destroyed by the impact, but no one died or cared. Expect the innkeeper who killed himself 10 days later and his wife who married Kyle 11 days later.

Piers plyed his wound and preperred to fight the attackers with his sword. Karst and Agatio prepered to strike again,

But before anyone did anything a whiny voice cried out. "Hey me and my girlfriend are trying to sleep, get out of the inn." All three noticed that Kraden was sitting in a bed next to Mia, at that time all of Prox throwed up. Piers who was fast to recover from the shock began to ran desperatly for his boat.

Then he reaced the boat he was intercepted by the ghost of lord Babi. Babi pulled up a Shot gun and said calmy. "Bring me to Lemuria Lemurian." Piers who now was armed with a Excalibur attacked Babi carelessly.

One shot gun shot later

Babi stood on the blood spilled boat deck when he noticed, that the entire boat was sinking and sinking fast. He also noticed that the boat was no longer on the dock it had began to drift away. Babi made some tones of the GS theme song before he drowned.

At Pulles house in Prox

"I thank you Isaac u saved the world, Prox and Vale." Said Pulle happily. "How can we ever repay your awesomeness."

Isaac was wearing full black, sunglasses and smoked a cigar. He said very calmy. "I dont need a reward i cannot be more awesome. Now i must go to my awesome home in Vale."

Everyone in the house bowed down as the greatest and most awesome leader of all time walked out of the house.

"Isaac make sure you didnt forget your teddy bear. I dont wanna hear you whine all the way back to Vale." Screamed Jenna from the outside.

Isaac who had been walking in slow mode, suddenly started to run out of the house. (not so awesome after all)

They walked happily out of Prox, with some luck they didnt meet Mia seeking allies to avenge Kraden. (who heroicly died in a battle against Sentinel). When they reached the dock they noticed that the ship was gone.

"So how are we supposed to get home now." Jenna asked Isaac you dont happen to carry the Teleport cuff?"

"No but i have something better." Issac smilled and pulled out the Frost ball.

Issac then cast frost on the entire Western and Eastern sea so he and Jenna could walk back to Vale. Not caring that he doomed Champa in the action.

At Mt,alpth Alex stood awaiting the Golden sun that was circling over him he was just about to get inte the power beam. When from the golden sun Felix unconcious body fell and hit Alex in the head knocking them both out. They laid uncouncious for about a 30 minutes

When Alex raised up. "No who robbed me of my dream. My dreams!." However a dream had come true when it come to Felix

"It was i The creepy one who did it." said the wiseass and appered out of nowhere. It lift up Alex and hit him with some skills and then throwed his body laying on top on Felix. Alex tried to move but he couldnt.

"Why did you do that for?" he asked desperatly. The Rock hovered and said. "I saw your intentions all along and made sure you were getting no power."

"But i have no special power." said Alex "you are just mean."

"Yes i took the Power away from you and by the way this mounting is sinking into the ground.

" What" screamed Alex.

"Ohhh and i also gave the Golden suns power to Isaac couse he is so awesome."

The Mountain sunk and both Alex and Felix died, Yes died.

Jenna and Isaac after days of walking on the frozen seas reached the ruins of Vale. Notcing that someone had on the sign that said vales popultion had carved in a big zero with blood.

"Any survivors here" screamed Isaac and looked happily as two Proxians come in view of the screen.

"Only the two of us survieved." Said Saturos.

"Who would have thought that a mountain Crasing in the ground could couse so much damge?" asked Menardi.

"This is once again a proof of the awesome powers of falling mountains" said Saturos.

"Where you guys even close to the crash?" asked Isaac. "And didnt you die on Venus lighthouse and why are you here now?"

"Well first of all No we were at Tolbi and won colossus at the same time of the Crash." said Saturos holding up a very ugly Lure cape. "I have no idea how we survived but i have alot of theroies nobody cares about. And last we are here to retrive a heavy load of alcohol, that i hide here to avoid it getting stolen by Kraden. will you help me look for it?"

Sure answered both Isaac and Jenna.

After hours of intensive searching they found a small cave containing boxes full with Vodka and yin. On every single bottle there was a note saying. Saturos alcohol everyone exepect Jenna keep your hands away.

They took all the Alcohol and went to Valut and had a party the town would never recover from.

Characther comments

Felix: How come i got treated so cruel in this story? Falling down the hole, being trapped in the golden sun and when raped by Alex and killed by a falling mountain.

Response: well first of a all you hold a grip on the Mars star with your life and you never speak in TLA and after that i thought you were better off dead.

Jenna: Why didnt i burn/thretend people like I normaly do?

Response: Couse thats acting heavly out of character. and very boring in the long term.

Alex: why did you cut so many of my lines?

Response: Couse you suck.

Sheba: How come me and Ivan got to look so weak?

Response: couse you are both weak

Ivan: What is so bad about being a family with me and why you made my sister kill herself?

Response: First you are a really boring person, that cries over a stick and second its ironic coused you were already dead and she didnt need to die

Isaac: why didnt you picture up my awesomeness any more?

Response: sorry sorry and sorry

Garet: Will i have any food in my cell? Will i ever be let out?

Response: I doubt it

Piers: why did i rape Garet? i aint a pedofil couse i am seriously just fourteen like Sheba and what was Garets little thing?

Response: couse you were sexually attracted to him. and Garets little thing is no more

Mia: Whyyyyy theeeee Helllll was i shiped with Kraden?

Response: Couse i wanted to hit all the Mudshippers right in the face and show everyone that Valeshipping pwns.

Kraden: Could i have sex with Jenna to?

Response: (a big vomit on the floor)

Hama: How come i had a gun? The first gun was made year 1337 by ..........

Response: its a plothole there just to be a plothole.

Babi. How did i drown if i was a ghost?

Response: ask Kraden

Karst and Agatio: Did we just randomly become the Proxian pedofill busters? thought we were the lighthouse lighters.

Response: actully before the lighthouse your misson was to simpley kill lord Babi for the Sheba thing, then you dropped out to kill Isaac

Saturos: How come the Alfharian mayor tasted like beacon?

Response: couse he is a big

Menardi: Why did you make me a dragdresser?

Response: To make you cry

Prox elder: Do you owe Golden sun?

Response: NO

Pulle how come you were so cruel and why did i think Isaac was all awesome, why did i care so much for the Garet/Piers thing. Why did we ave that kind of childprison? how come Dullaham and Sentinel watched the door? aint i ever cool? why didnt i kill piers myself and how come i didnt got to do anything cool. How come some characters had guns , where was all the djinn and how come I didnt kill the elder?.

Response:pulls out a gun and finish the FAQ phese with a swift trigger pull.


	2. Pirates of the Kargol Sea

**Pirates of the Kargol sea**

The Lemurian disaster story. The most screwed up story here. Also the last of my fictions who sill feature guns. Guns do not belong in stories they belong in Gun stores. (or maybe not)

I dont owe any of the characters in here and specially not Golden sun

* * *

As Poseidon the Lemurian gurdian sank down under the water, grining in pain. From a kick in the cross. Felix raised his sword victouriosly, proud over his partys powers.

They sailed calmly into the cave, that would take them to the city. After looking at the teenegers and Piers for a second Kraden jumped up.

"Shebas missing!!" he screamed in fear.

Piers looked around in the cave and said. "No shes just Down as always." He then started to pull a rope that was hanging of the ship.

After about an hour of pulling the rope they finally saw the downed Sheba.

"You see i tied a rope around shebas foot all the time to make sure its easy to get her back every time she falls of the ship." Expliend Piers

Sheba was ressturected and they got of the boat to enter Lemuria. but before they had gotten anywhere they where attacked by a heavy armed pirate crew.

cpt: Jack Sparrow, Cpt: Hock and cpt, Picard appers.

Hock casts Wrath of the hock king

But it has no effect on anybody

Sheba casts Spark plasma

Jenna casts Cycle beam

Felix attacks Picard

Piers use oil drop

Jack sparrow jumps up and begins to make a comical speech

Sheba, Felix and Jenna falls asleep.

But it has no effect on Piers

Picard use Laser gun, but badly fails at aiming and shots of Hocks second arm.

Cpt: hock as deafeted.

Jack atacks Piers with Epic sword battle.

Piers and Jack are locked in an Epic battle. Jumping up and down the mast and doing great ninja moves.

Sheba casts Condem on Picard

Cpt: Picard was deafeted

Felix enters the epic sword battle

Cpt: Jack sparrow was deafted

"How the heck did they got in here" said Piers looking paranoidly around. "And i also tought there could only be one pirate captain."

"Yes but we have reunited under the banner of the Pirate king now" said Sparrow. "Under his command we shall take all the gold in the world."

The pirate king that word ran through all of there minds and one name soon apperd.

Isaac whisperd Felix trembeling with fear.

Out of no where a voice spoke. "Get ready for truoble."

"Dubbel trouble" said another voice.

"Make it tripple trouble" said a third voice.

"For god sake Ivan you arnt any trouble for anyone" said the first voice again

"Mia of course." said a fourth and girly voice.

"Can we just go and kill them now" spoke a last voice harshly.

Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia and Saturos appers.

Ivan/Sheba casts bind on each other.

Jenna casts Circle beam

Ivan was down

Saturos casts pyroslam

Sheba was downed

Isaac/Felix casts revive

Sheba/Ivan was revived.

Piers cast megacool on himself. And he disappers into nowhere.

Isaac use shot gun .

Mia use Machine gun.

Saturos use revolver.

Felix, Jenna and Sheba was downed.

Piers appers again now looking like he just entered the Matrix

Isaac /mia /saturos fires again, all the bullets fell on the ground powerless.

"I am Piers and im the key" Piers said happily.

Garet uses bazooka

Piers was downed Felixs party has been defeated.

Isaac let out a victourious howl.

"You seriously think you won yet" said kraden and appered armed with a shamans rod.

Kraden appers

Kraden attacks Ivan

Ivan was downed

Satorus casts volcano

Kraden was downed.

"I be up in a second" Kraden said and used water of life on himself.

"Good that means you can walk the plank" said Isaac happily.

Later on the Jolly Roger.

Felix/Jenna/Sheba and Piers are tied to the mast, while Kraden is forced up the plank by Garet and Satours. The entire crew was loughing all evil then Kraden was forced to the edge of the plank.

Kraden tried to have a speach to save his life. "Save the drama!" said Isaac and used move to push Kraden of the edge. Kraden fell into the water and started to swim to a pier.

"Man this is boring said Ivan and used carry to carry Kraden to a rock spike in the water." Kraden made one last scream before he was pierced by the rock spike.

"Hey let us go Isaac we only want to see this legendary city." Said Sheba. She was a second later slapped in face by Satouros and Ivan, both saying that Isaac is called Pirate king now.

"Well let me interduce you to my crew" said Isaac. "lets see you already meet my captains." Sparrow and Picard raised their hands, Hock tryed but he had no more hands.

"My friends say hello to the Seawolfs the Litivas competiton in the Crapvision 2008." The Seawolves started to sing their retarded song Wolves of the sea.

"Shut up screamed" Isaac. "You of course already know my second in command man Saturos." Countiued Isaac. as Satouros bowed ironicly.

"Actully i have never seen that guy" said Piers and got slapped by Ivan.

"its Saturos to you jerk" he said.

"that dosnt hurt midget man" said Piers back to Ivan.

"And this is Mia and thats Garet and i see you already meet midget man here." Ivan fell on the deck crying. "sorry Ivan but you ruined my presentation." said Isaac.

"hmmm and yes last and least is Alex the deck washer. Alex held up a mop as a hello. Thats my entire crew" said Isaac happily

"We are the pirates of the Kargol sea those who dont fear us has never heard of us. we have come here to find a legendary tresure Sparrow told me about full of old indian gold coins you guys wanna join?"

No way i know how people treat pirates said Piers, but the rest of the party tagged along. Leaving Piers still tied on the mast the pirate crew expect Alex start makeing their way into Lemuria.

They walked undisturbed until they was spotted by two people gurding the front gate. "Hey are you the people who slew poseidon? couse we will reward you greatly if it was you."

Ivan cast sleep and all of the guards fell asleep. The crew countinued into Lemuria. Then they reached the fountain a Piers uncle come to greet them.

"Alms to the poor? i can polish your shoes or do anything you ask for." He looked totally miserable and really drunk.

"Well i give you a bottle of rum if you show us to the castle of this dump" said Isaac. Not inpressed by Lumerias awesome structers.

The castle was right infront of them so all the rum was wasted away but only Saturos cared.

Then they entered the castle they saw what would be a true horror. In king Hydros chamber the king himself, Lunpa and Conservato was standing under a banner that sad, Lemosha. The king carried a guitar and Conservato sat behind the drums and Lunpa stood with the bass next to a microphone. All three of them of them where bare chested and in a cage next to them stood Hammet looking really scared.

_One two three four _screamed Lunpa and the band began to play. It was destructiv music with really sucky lyrics.

_Im a pedofil and i love Babi _Started the lyrics

_Cheack out this freak riff its fucking raiping _Screamed Lunpa while Hydros made a solo and run up the wall and keept playing his solo standing in the air.

_Im a pedofil i can do what i want _Lunpa kept screaming and approched Hammet. _I will have no remorse, and will enyoj your pain little one. _

Conservato stopped playing the drums and teleported next to Lunpa, the drum sound kept going anyway. Hydros jumped down and landed next to Conservato.

"This is pretty fucked up." said Felix "lets just get the grind stone and run for it."

"I couldnt agree more" added Ivan. The crew picked up the grinding stone and made a run for it.

Hearing despart scrams from Hammet as they kept running to their boat. They quickly picked up the boat and left Lemuria. Leaving Piers still tied to the mast of his own ship.

Directly then they reached open sea another ship apperad chasing them. "What the hell is that ship" said Isaac watching at it gained lengths upon them.

"Ohh thats just the flying dutch commended by a Davy jones who wants to kill me." said Sparrow. As the Flying dutch started to fire cannonballs against them.

"Garet!" screamed Isaac "Take care of it." Garet took his rocket luncher and fired a rocket right into the mast. they all smiled then they saw it fell into the water, until Sparrow said that the dutch goes faster with no sailis. They watched in fear as more cannon balls throwed onto the deck killing several random losers that not was part of the crew or ever had been there before.

Saturos where the heck did they come from? asked Isaac

"I got them with us in case we got into situations when someone needs to die." Came the answer.

"Mia freeze the sea behind us so it cant get us." said Isaac loughing at his genius.

The flying dutch couldnt move behind them at all and it defetny couldnt fly. " you guys realise that now they will realise a giant fish creature called kraken at us" said Jack

" we have already killed a kraken so this cant be hard now that we have so many more with us." Ivan said looking quite glad as he stretched his arm muscle.

" i belive this one is a little bigger" said Saturos as he watched huge tentacles rise all around the the ship. He pulled through his revolver and fired desparet shot in the tentacles.

The tentacles raised up all around the ship ignoring the gun fire from the crew. Isaac watched in fear as hook swong both his hooks into a tentacle and got stuck on it throwing him all around. untill it crushed him against the mast

" Jack do you have any idea how to take care of this?" asked Isaac desparatly.

Garet poked his shulder and whiperd " Jack sparrow has already left in the row boat. " Isaac enraged with his shot gun shooting about a 100 bullets in a tentackle whilout it even caring.

cpt Picard was pierced right in the torso by a tentackle, spilling his blood all around the deck. Alex grabbed Picard who whispered

_Plese heal me I cant sleep _

_Thought i was unbreakable _

_But this is killing me _

Alex throwed Picards body over the deck screaming something about how long it would take to clean up on the deck. Alex was however hit by about a hundreads of bullets from Mia screaming that he just had killed her greatest love. Alex body feel over the deck after Picards.

Isaac saw how the front of his ship was pressed down in the Krakens mouth. Saturos Garet Jenna use some damm fire psyenergy on it kill it.

Saturos turned his head shoking " we are right above mercury lighthouse we are all to weak to do anything about it." Stating at what apperad to be the top of the lighthouse about 30 meters under water.

Isaac shocked his head damm global warming. Ivan feel with the sea wolves right into Krakens mouth. " get a grip every body and fire down what ever you got"

Felix notcied how sheba feel down the creatures mouth and shocked his. He grabbed his sword and said heroicly "Mommy i popped my pants" as he jumped after Sheba into Krakens mouth

On the deck Jenna was shaking her head reamnbiring that Sheba still was tied to a rope ganging down the back of the boat.

They watched how more and more of the ship was pulled down the Krakens mouth. Jenna had spent her tim drawing Sheba back to the part of the ship that hadnt been swallowed yet.

Reamnbering she actully hated Sheba for the classic Madra blushing scene. (Who all mudshippers and flamesshippers had been trying to cower up for years now).

she cut the rope and heard a satisfieng scream.

It looked like it was the end for all of them but in a desperet hour Mia throwed out hover jade making the ship fly. The Kraken was pulled up the sea as the ship it despratly hanged on hovered hundres of feets above the ground.

Isaac feelt how all of them lost their pysenergy and a fall back into the water would mostly likely kill them all.

" i have an idea" screamed Garet and put four mars dininjs on standby.

This was bad realised Isaac and Saturos who both jumped the ship falling down hundreds of meters instead staying on a ship. The ship and Kraken was hit by a huge meteor killing all of them instatly.

Isaac and Saturos swam in the water below desperatly grabbing planks from the destroyed ship. as they both had found something they could use as a wraft.

Somehow a huge ship appeard and Karst and Agatio throwed down a rope ladder. Isaac and Saturos climbed up the big ship.

" ummm how did you guys got this ship it looks english and theirs a bunch of people chained under the deck" said Isaac looking at the english flag.

" well since we couldnt find some guy named Isaac who killed my sister we got this job to transport slaves from Gondowan to Madra. Babi pays alot you know Isaac" said Karst happily.

Isaac nodded and from that day he stopped being the Pirate king to become Isaac the slave transport king.

**A fine finish incomming**

Piers stood stil tied to his ships mast, then he heard foot steppes in the cave. King Hydros Lunpa and Conservato came into his view.

Piers looked happy " finally you guys came to relasse me. i been here for hours they left with the jolly roger. hey no need to hug me. wait what are you doing christ save me no"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

* * *

The end? circle what you want

(Yes?) no?

Character comments.

Isaac: thats right all who plays Golden sun fears me

Saturos: Actully i ate what remained of Menardis body

Lunpa: Come here children dont be shy

Hammet: shake shake shake

Ivan: I aint weak short or boostfully cast spark plasma and finish the comment section.


	3. Breaking into fort Lunpa

**Breaking into fort Lunpa **

A saving private hammet error.

Another story of mispelled randomness. No point at all plese note that you have been warned. From here and on there are no correct sentences.

* * *

Isaac and co were heading to lunpa in order to save Master hammet. A fat merchant who had adopted Ivan becouse of the advanges of having a child. He had also run over Garet with his wagon.

As they closed onto Lunpa they saw how the entire city was burning. Then they reached Lunpa the gate was mere ashes. The guards was rolling in the grass to put them self out of fire.

"Demons came and put us and the gate on fire randomly." The guards had long ago put out the fire on them but they keept rolling on the grass becouse it was fun

"Yes i belive they have gone to the fort to save Hammet." The guards hadnt spot Isaac or anything they were just random talking.

Isaac and co just left them in their grassland. Lunpa was burning quite good but just to be sure it would burn down, Garet unleashed a inferno.

The guards at the entrance of fort Lunpa was dead, It looked like they had feelt on their shoelaces and breaken their necks. Someone had left a stone with reunes carved in it

_I wish to live in a world with no shoelaces._

_Saturos year 2012. In hating memory of Agatio  
_

"Thats weird" Ivan always liked to comment on what was crystal clear.

"Whats weird." Garet shaired Saturos wish of a world with no shoelaces. Shoelaces were murders they had reduced Fuc(K)hin temple pouplation by about 50 %. The rest had starved to death.

"Lets just move in" They stormed in like the kings cavelery. Through none of them knew what a king does and caverly had not been invented yet.

* * *

Fort lunpa was filled with out knocked blue guards, while all red guards was stil up ready to fight. Isaac thought it was more annoying then lighting Mars lighthosue.

They finally reached a dead end. It was in the shape of a hellowenn store called Dondonpas best bones. Something was clearly wrong at the store. First it was on fire, second of all their was no wares. Last of all Isaac couldnt find a cash deck to pillage. Which made the entire store worthless.

It was not until Ivan used reavel on the shop they notcied the undergrond basement. were several bodies was found as well as a much more imporant secret passage.

The group hurried through the passage. They walked through a elphant graveyard and killed several swines, until they finally reached Hammets cell.

Outside the cell laid Saturos and Menardi almost drowning in their pukes. Menardi slowly talked as she spotted the group.

"Mia i love you" Mis blushed and smiled. Menardi closed her eyes and fell into unconcious.

"Whats wrong with you?" Ivan was as always conserned about his foes.

Saturos spat out a guinee pig and spoke with a drama in his voice. "Its unstoppable. We couldnt stand looking at it for more then seconds." He fell back and facked coughed.

"What is unstopable?" Isaac shacked Saturos desparete for answeres.

"Mudshipping!!!!!" Everyone locked confused.

"Gave you ever seen a fan fiction not featuring Mudshipping? One or two sided?" Saturos locked extremly annoyed. "It is not even a shipping name for me and Mia or Jenna!"

"What about Sheba" wondered Ivan. Knowing that there was someone named Sheba even through he never passed Gondowan bridge.

"I am a member of Proxian pedofil killers and Sheba is a kid. God dammit. I killed Felix earlier then he said Sheba was hot." Saturos didnt look sorry.

"Thats good to know but what is in there that made you puke?"

"Just a pig, a monkey and a giant toad making love." Saturos puked over Garet just at the thought of it.

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" It didnt make sense.

"I did not care about a captured merchant. But Menardi sleept with his wife and promised to rescue him" Saturos started to cry. His tears was as black as his heart. (Not black at all)

The group left the crying proxian and entered the prison cell, with all djinns on set. They closed their eyes and called upon their summonings.

(Whats really inside of that room is censored, Therefore it will be a story jump until the group heads out to Saturos and Menardi again) Yes i am lazy

Saturos is stil crying but Menardi is there to tease him.

"Why do you two want to light the lighthouses?" (It is a question never asked in game)

"Becouse Lemuria will take over the world if we dont." Menardi and Saturos draw their weapons and prepared to attack.

The group battled for some time until they notcied that Hammet was stil there. Hammet spoke with his greedy voice

"Wait aint you all Heros then?"

Both sides nodded byt keept fighting. Hammet raised his voice again.

"Before you finish this fight you might wanna buy the single Battle of heros? Its from Star wars." Hammet opened his jacket and showed a huge number of star wars sound track cds.

Suddenly the fight stopped and all heros charged and tapped Hammet. Then they tied him to a chariot and drove him to Kaley. By the time they reached Kaley they were all friends, Expect Ivan/anyone.

"So are we gonna light the lighthouses now? Isaac had already lighted Mars lighthouse by a misstake so only Jupiter and Venus remained.

"No we gave the elemental stars to Jenna and Sheba they should be fine."

* * *

The two groups glad to finally came clean wnet to the Kalay cinema. Planning to watch Felix emo and The halfblood pedofil. featuring Felix and Kraden.

They was however forced to watch some annyoing commorisals. As fast as they entered a must irratating commorial showed up

_Here is the Album all Imilshippers must have, Probally the greatest proof of Imilshipping ever. _

_Mia i light mercury lighthouse plese forgive me. From Alex himself _

_A image of Alex holding a red rose appered. Alex was dressed as a gentleman with hat and all that stuff. _

_Featuring tracks such as Plying in the rain, Breaking the visit ban, and I stalked an angel. _

Behind it they heard Alex sing with a really girly voice.

_Iam here plying in the rain _

_Not caring for those i kill just_

_Hoping that you could notice me_

_Kiss me love me im the stalker in your dreams_

_Also features the hit single video Something to jack of in front of_

_Imgages of Mia taking a shower was now shown at the big screen Alex voice sang out _

_I filmed this in secret _

_Hope you dont mind _

_This is some thing i watch three times everyday. _

_Image changed and showed Alex naked doing something censured. _

_Plese see me _

_I masterbate infront of you _

_Every day ( yes every day) _

_call the cops on me and i will light a lighthouse._

_Out in stories now. a picture of the _album cower showed on the screen. _It was a piece were Alex and Mia naked hugged each other._ _Alex was censored sadly Mia wasnt_

Even Garet could see that Mia was edited into the picture

Mia raised and called the Proxian stalker slayers after Alex. She then left telling that she wanted to finish him of himself.

The others barly noticed still stuck staring at the picture. Even Menardi couldnt stop looking at the binding picture " must buy album." all of them spoke like zombies.

The screen changed to the greeter sadness of god. It showed a trailer to a movie that was not to well thought over

_Thusands of years before Isaac died upon the Lighthouse an ancint city Lemuria existed. The lemurian prince Parris was at least a thusand years old , still he abucted a Proxian princes making the Proxian king attack Lemuria with a thusand boats. among the Proxian warriors was the imortal Akilles fighting for glory. Guest playing in it was also the cunning Odysesues. The Lemurian prince Hector was forced to take up arms to defend his beloved city from the invading Prox army. _

_In the roles we see _

_Agatio as Akilles. A imortal warrior who still dies. Showing images of how Agatio was thrown into a tomb. _

_Karst as the Proxian princess what name we never cared engough to find out. She was abucted by Piers. Ending up marrying him and escaping Lemuria before it was burnt down. Showing images of Karst and Piers surronded by their twisted children._

_Saturos as Odyssues. The guy who builds a giant wooden horse who is so big that it could be pushed to Lemuria making the Lemurian walls reachable. Showing image of a big wooden horse standing next to a burining Lemuria. It also took him ten years to sail home becouse he forgot his map. Then he however got him he killed himself, in grief over how fat his wife had became. Before he died he killed hundreds of sales men outside his house. Showing image of dead people sealing go Odteesus Shirts. _

_Conservato as Hector. The guy who Akilles kills and then drags his body all around Lemuria in a rowboat. Showing images of Agatio rowing a boat draging Conservatos body behind it. _

_King Hydros as the king who has to fight a war becouse his son is a pedofil. A image showing then Hydros paid the bail for Piers. _

_Features alot of sex and violence and no crappy i love you scenes.!!!!! from 3 years up  
_

_falling on a cinema near you._

" Jesus that film wont sell good. Glad that i paid me hundreds of millions for just being in it. " Saturos had freely paid for their cinema tickets.

Yes they had to pay for a movie in Hammets cinema. Since Hammet did not care if they saved him or not he still wanted money.

" Just who was the retard that made that trailer?" Asked ivan, since that the trailer had featured every single spoiler in the film.

" I belive his name was Lodem he owes the Tolbi movie pruductions, becouse of that he owes about half Tolbi." It was Garet who answered this time.

Every one was shocked. "How come you knew that" stammered Isaac through

" We meet Lodem in Tolbi after we won the guitar hero contest reamnber? You fainted couse nobody wanted to catched you then you stage dived." Garet keept talking

" At that time i took the oppertunity to talk to Lodem about his films and he thought he might have us in one called. The way to destroy a world." Garet didnt shut his trap their.

" And werent we supposed to meet him at Gondowan bridge? Couse we have been in Angara for days now. Its not fair to leave him at the bridge." Garet finally stopped talking then Ivan cast sleep on him.

" Its not like we said to Lodem that we would meet him this year." Isaac was a glad to not have Lodem with them he was annyoing.

* * *

At Gondowan bridge.

Clone trooper to antother trooper.

"Shoudnt we have given him something to eat or atleast forced him away?"

They were caring Lodems dead body with them.

" well we would if he hadnt keept saying that he would eat then his robots arrived"

" I dont think anyone gonna miss this guy anyway." They throwed Lodems body in the river and whispered a innocent tune. Looking like nothing had happend.

**Back to the pointless story**

Another anyoing commorisiall just showed up on the screen.

_Did you hate everu puzel in Gs1/2? Did you hate how the bosses was so complicated?. couldnt you understand the plot? _

_Then GS3 Colossus is the right game for you. _

_Play as Navampa, Satrage or Kraden in the ultimate battle of colossus. _

_Same battle systems as before but updated to fit you. _

_No djinni. _

_No Psyenergys. _

_No special weapons. _

_No plot_

_Features nuts short shord and wooden sheilds and ofourse Hard nuts. _

_Buy it in your favorite game store Alharrian junk shop and......_

A image of the Alfharren mayor popped up and said

_Kaufen Sie das Produkt und die Unterstützung der Kriegführung _

( Subtitles)

_Buy it and the Alfhaarans can start a third world war.(plese dont buy it)  
_

"wow if thats GS3 im glad i died in the first game." Menardi and Saturos both smiled but the rest locked suicidal.

A flash of light came in randomly and the wise one appered. Ivan thought the wise one was mad at them, but wasnt sure since it was hard to read his face expressions.

"Why havnt you light the lighthouses yet. I need you to do it so i got a reason to kill Alex. My wife knows how much i hate him."

"Hove do you rocks make love? " Isaac asked looking intressting

"I dont think you need to wait long until Alex dies. Mia has gone after him" Saturos remanbered then Mia beat the crap out of him on Mercury lighthouse.

"But shes a girl" The wise one believed that females were useless

"You are a girl! I have seen what you got where your cross should be. Its totally hot. " Menardi locked really excited.

The wise one started to cry and revield that she in fact had a female body.

"You reviled my rterrible secret You wont make it out of here in a while!"

"good the movie just started" Said Ivan and took his seat. He strated to move his hand towards the popcons.

He was to slow and Garet awokened from his sleep and casted pyroslam on everyone. Saturos got mad becouse Garets pyroslam was so weak and casted pyroslam himself. Now everyone was mad and they cast random psyenergies/ summons all over the cinema.

In a matter of seconds the cinema was turned into dust.

The wise one who was probly on her time of the month Transformed into a Giant stone and lifted in the air.

" Now you will pay for not listning to me. DIE!!!!!"

The giant stone fell against them from the sky. Everyone screamed that they were going to die and loocked scared. Expect Menardi who could see the wise ones secret spot, and got really thrilled.

The stone suddenly stopped on its way down. And another random flash light appered. A second one syed stone guy appered.

" who in Mars name is you?" asked the adpets

"Im the wiser one." The entire earth tremored then he spoke, The birds flew away from the trees

" I belive its time for my wife to chill down Felix failled lighting the lighthouse by the way you have to do it." Another random flash light and all flying stones were gone.

Saturos turned around to the director (me) and asked with a inpaitiant voice. " Plese dont make us re do this scene"

" No you guys are done for this now, I just need to figure whats gonna happen to Alex"

**Shaman villiage. **

"I think we should have brought a map before we got this lost" Jenna was tied to a totem pole."What are you gonna do to us?"

...... Her captors was very silence.

"Hold on i mind read them." Sheba was stuck in a couldron filled with water. She cast mindread on their captor.

_First i am not gonna talk to them and then i am going to have a bath with them. Girls love guys who are so secret. _

"Jenna this guy is just pathetic_, _Why did you say we should let him capture us?"

"I am not pathitic and i am much stronger then you girls. I am Moapa the guy who never talk to strangers." Moapa stretched his muscles.

"Hahaha you talked to us, you suck." Both Sheba and Jenna burst into laoughter.

Moapas face turned pink in anger, which made Jenna and Sheba lough even more. "I am going to eat you."

Moapa picked up his spear and moved it around him slowly. Jenna and Sheba kept loughing at the pink man. Finally they realised that he was serious.

Jenna burned all her ropes and approched Moapa. Moapa would have attacked her but he was hit in the fore head with Shamans rod. He fel almost dead on the sand.

All of Shamans village silently gathered up and attacked the team. In seconds Jenna beat them all somehow. Every house was on fire and they found the hover jade inside Moapas cracked skull. Now they could light Jupiter lighthouse and they would be free to go to any bar.

"Wow Jenna how did you kill them all like that? Where did all the fire come from? How come your psyenergy is still full?."

Jenna took a step closer to Sheba and glared evily. "I thought of mudshipping."

**Madra Prison  
**

Karst forced a prisoner into a dark room with one chair. she chained their prisoner blue haired prisoner to the chair, and then slowly left the room.

The door on the other side opened and several pirates entered the were led by another blue haired man.

" I belive its time to show this stalker how we do it the Pirate way." exclamied Piers and Alex began to shake.

* * *

**Character questions**

Isaac "Am i really that evil and dumb?"

Response: Yes you are worse then Alfharran Mayor.

Garet (Smart version) "How did Isaac get to Mars lighthouse"?

Response: Plothole

Garet (Dumb version)

"Who are you?"

Response: I am the son of gods. The light in the darkness. The drakness in the ligtht. Butter on a choclate cake. Centrion of the Horde. Protector of darkness and light. Bringer of water of life and creator of acid rain

**i am the non caring auther**

Ivan "Why does nobody likes me after we saved hammet?"

Response: Maybe couse you was against beating Hammet up

Mia "I got revange on Alex right?"

Response: You sure did

Mia kisses me XD

Response: my first kiss yay.

Menardi "How did you know i was a lesbian?"

Response: Mind read you in Sol sanctum you says that Jenna looks like a hot hostage.

Saturos. "Can you make up some shippings for me, including me Jenna and Mia."

Response: Okay Saturos/Jenna is called strange flame shipping and Saturos/Mia is called WTF how? shipping. You want anymore shippings?

Hammet "What is a cinema?"

Response:"Something you are to cheap to visist." a finger raised to all outlawed downloading

Jenna "Finally i am in character in a story.

Response: Yes finally

Sheba "How did we light Venus lighthouse?"

Response: its a wait for it wait for it wait for it. PLOTHOLE

Felix: "How come i always die?"

Response Maybe becouse you are suicidal.

Piers "why am i always raping or being raped in those stories?"

Responses: you really wanna know why?

Moapa is dead

Response: Cheers

**

* * *

Credits.**

Story by ?. Is this a story?

Director Me

Pruducer Lodem (we all feel sorry for his death.)

co producer Kraden (we are all sad that he survived his first disaster story.)

Isaac played and voiced by Hsu and Ulmuh

Garet played and voiced by Random drunk (1)

Ivan played by Sheba and voiced by Saturos

Mia played by Alex and voiced by Agatio

Saturos played by himself and voiced by Menardi

Menardi played by herself and voiced by Saturos

Hammet played and voiced by Nemises (Hope you read this)

Comersial talker voiced by Puelle

Alfharran mayor played and voiced by A.... h.....

Jenna played by Devils wife and voiced by Saturos

Sheba played by Ivan and voiced by Saturos

Moapa played and voiced by Garet (RIP)

Alex played and voiced by D.... Vader

Piers played by Mia and voiced by random drunk (2)

Karst played by Eoeloe. (Un voiced since Eoele is too young to talk)

The wise one played and voiced by a small rock.

The wiser one played and voiced by a bigger rock.

Retarded Guard (1) played by random drunk (1)

Retarded guard (2) played and voiced by Garet

Clone tropper (1) played and voiced by Isaac.

Clone tropper (2) played and voiced by Ivan

Special thanks to

Camelot

Nintendo and

Dora

* * *

In loving memory of my time as a wow addict. Let hope we never see that again.


End file.
